It comes full circle. Mario tells us
about a painful and fundamental part of his life. Years that
shaped him and left a mark, both positively but mostly with
negative events.
He believed that the American “adventure” was his destiny,
that it had become “his life”.
But what we wish for does not always coincide with reality.
After discovering that his mentor is a mass murderer and he is
being hunted by the New York mafia... he decides to run away.
Again!
From the
escape, to the shipwreck, to that decisive May 10, 2008!
This
last chapter, is told as if we were reading through his personal
and secret diary.
From which he highlighted the most significant pages of the long
journey he had to go through to reach his goal. These are years
that leave a mark on him, mostly in a negative way. But he is
Mario M and manages to learn from every situation.
He suffers... he deludes himself... he suffers again...
Until becoming what he is today.
Mario
M
Let me begin with the phrase
that has accompanied me for most of my life: “Did I make the
right choice?”
…
This time YES!
I consider myself a normal person, I don't deserve so much
praise. Sure, I have a strong personality, I know what I want
and I often get it, but I'm also lucky. I had to grow up
alone, the relationship with my father was never easy, it was
actually nonexistent. We were the same, same temper, therefore
in constant contrast. Of one thing I'm sure, he always
believed he was doing the right thing for me. And even if not
as he thought, he did. I grew up with strong values, trying to
help those who were less fortunate than I was, I can say that
my childhood was carefree. Growing up though, seeing them
living their quiet and boring existence, I started dreaming of
a different life! Not always the usual routine... at work in
the morning, at home in the armchair in the afternoon, the
holidays always in the same period and in the same place,
visiting the relatives for special occasions... I wanted
something that would continually give me new emotions, new
challenges. The best time of my life was in fact when I
visited America, alone, hitchhiking and without a destination.
Chasing after something indefinite, that I could not decipher.
Whatever I did, wherever I was, I had to change after a while.
Today I know what I was looking for. I was in love with three
people before I met him: Jasmine... we were good together. We
had fun, everyone said we were a great couple. I regret
letting her go, but I did it for her, for her career, so she
wouldn't regret giving up on a great career. Only later did I
realize I was in love with her, but she wasn't in love with
me. Julien. We had wonderful moments together even if he was
the one who abandoned me in a particularly dramatic moment for
me. Once we returned to civilization, minutes after learning
about the deaths of both my parents. Maybe it was for the
best. Maybe if we'd stayed together, I would have never met my
son. Finally Giacomo. We were good together, we understood
each other perfectly. I spent two wonderful years with him and
thanks to him I finally got over that awful moment. But he was
also – and above all else – in love with his wife. He would
never be just mine. In all three cases I backed down without a
fight, believing I was doing the best thing for them. It was
happening to me with Roby as well, but this was the right time
and something – or someone – wanted things to go differently.
Who knows, maybe it was time for me to finally be happy. Yes,
I've helped many people, that's true. But many have helped me.
I think back to those - fortunately few - that I was unable to
help. One regret above all, George Saiden who, due to my
carelessness, due to a delicate moment I was experiencing,
committed suicide. They had set him up, filming us in bed
together. He could not stand his wife, who he adored, leaving
him and the consequent scandal. More regrets… Harby. I
misjudged him. Filled with gratitude towards him for giving me
the opportunity to live an adrenaline filled life, I gave him
trust he didn't deserve. I let myself be manipulated and he
made me pay for it… by hurting the people I was closest to. I
think back to Brandon who I considered a second father. How
proud I was when he confided in me that if he had a son, he
wished he would be like me. To the good relationship with Bill
Wallace - which continues to this day. And a special place is
taken by Kala, the mother of little Mario, who sacrificed her
life to save him. I can't help but think of Esterina,
shipwreck companion and second mother to me and her son Walter
who helped me in the darkest moment of my life, and who didn't
deserve what fate had in store for him. But in general, from
everyone I've met, I've tried to take the best, and learn from
their mistakes. And then, my new family. That evening
something told me to go to that place, and I didn't have a
moment's hesitation in intervening. I noticed those two
frightened boys immediately. I saw their goodness right away.
Guido, what a good boy. Even after everything he has gone
through he is so good, he isn't mad at his family in the
slightest. I immediately thought that I could very well have
been in his place. And little Nick. When, while I was taking
him to the emergency room, he begged me crying, not to say
that it was his father who had reduced him like that... he
didn't think in the slightest about the pain he felt, he
thought about not getting his dad in trouble. But the thing
that amazed me the most about them was that they always wanted
to defend their father/husband. And I could not understand
why. Until I met him. Apart from his beauty, I noticed in him
great goodness but a deep sorrow that drove him to behave in
the wrong way. And when I decided to help him, I did it with
all my heart, without ulterior motives. I just wanted to
reunite that beautiful family. How pissed I used to get when
he persisted in hating Guido. I could see him for what he was,
him as the person who had deviated his son. In that moment I
understood that he loved Nick deeply. Knowing them was my
greatest luck. They gave me the opportunity to understand what
I really wanted from life. At that time I felt dissatisfied
again, I had fallen into the routine from which I have always
escaped and they offered me the opportunity to come full
circle. I have finally found the person with whom I am in
complete harmony. When I was in a coma, feeling his despair, I
knew he was a part of me. This gave me the strength to recover
and the certainty that I will never live a boring life with
him, because I am sure that he will always need someone to
keep him in check... I will always have, with him, the
opportunity to get him out of trouble! When I feared he might
not make it, I regretted for a moment. Pulling myself back too
many times, believing I was doing the right thing for others.
Jr? I haven't forgotten him. He is the love of my life. I've
always dreamed of becoming a father, but I was afraid of it.
And the beginning wasn't the easiest, I will never forget the
bad things I said to him when we argued. When he was born on
the island, I immediately felt a bond that went beyond just
helping him into the world. And I think he too subconsciously
felt connected to me. I remember that he always wanted to be
in my arms. Either with me or with his mother. He was always
smiling when he was with me... he stuck those little fingers
in my eyes, in my nose, laughing out loud at my funny faces.
Now I understand why, the days before going back to
civilization… that little child suddenly refused to come in my
arms, he felt that I was about to abandon him. And when, just
before we said goodbye, Kala and Kai stepped aside and talked
for a long time. I'm sure Kala wanted to confess that I was
the father. I am so proud of him and, borrowing the phrase
Brandon told me: he is just how I wanted my son to grow up.
No, I haven't forgotten. You will forever be my hero. If you
hadn't saved me that day, none of us would be here now! Thanks
Pierpo.
Grazie Pierpo...